We must always remember that we should love ourselves too. Loving does not mean being selfish for being selfish means taking care of ourselves only. Loving ourselves means giving ourselves also room to grow and empower ourselves. If we do not take care of ourselves, we either become bitter and/or extremely selfish in the negative manner in some time.
On the other hand, if we are someone who only loves others, giving of ourself freely without any boundaries, we become a “people pleaser” which means we are not being unconditional or loving to our own self first. We must know that playing the martyr is not rewarding or validating and only leaves us and the other person resentful. Let us work to recognize what is best for us first. This might sometimes have us prioritizing our needs and desires above someone else’s. This is a healthy part of defining who we are as individuals and crucial to know our own gauge for self-love. Remember, only when we know intrinsically that we have value to be loved, can we give love cleanly.
Forgiveness is extremely important.. It’s probably the most difficult and truly unconditional act we perform. In any circumstance where we feel we have been wronged, neglected or taken advantage of, if someone doesn’t apologize, it’s inherently the most loving to them and to ourself to choose to let go of any anger and resentment. Harbouring that energy is hurtful to us spiritually, and over time, physically. Granting forgiveness unconditionally isn’t communicating we will allow someone to be hurtful or discounting. The act of practicing unconditional love will be tainted and not at all healing if we choose to hold onto negative stuff. This is something we need to consciously work on every day. There is no perfect, simple way to love without conditions.
As far as forgiveness is concerned, we know that an entire religion has been formed with forgiveness as its foundation. In a sense, forgiveness is the best gift we can give ourselves
After all, life is a gift that has been given to us, warts and all, and we must make the best use of it at all times. Like the people I mentioned above, in my whole healing journey, I have learnt more lessons than ever before. These are actually relevant to all of us, wherever we may be are in the journey of life.