In most areas of life, all positive traits are interlinked just like negative traits are. For instance, we can never feel sorry for ourselves if we accept reality, focus on gratitude and most of all focus on love.
Some techniques that I suggest everyone as it has helped me are
Accept your Feelings
Don’t question whether your problems are fair, or convince yourself if you have suffered more than those around them. The best way to deal with any feeling of discomfort is to just get through it.
The combination of negative thinking and inactivity fuel feelings of self-pity. We need to recognize when in a trauma that we are at a risk of becoming caught in this downward spiral and take action to prevent ourselves from living a pitiful life. The control as always is with us.
Question what we perceive as luck
We need to ask ourselves questions like, “Is my luck always bad?” or “Is my entire life really ruined?” Asking ourselves these types of questions allows us to recognize when their outlook isn’t realistic. This allows us to create a more realistic perception of the situation.
View all experiences as experiments in life
Do not allow their negative thinking to turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead, when if in a challenging situation, let us deal with it in the best possible manner.
Reserve energy for productive activities
Instead of leading life in a self-pity mode, devote your time to productive activities that may perhaps improve the situation.
Gratitude is a common factor in all positive emotions. It’s impossible to feel self-pity and gratitude at the same time. While self-pity is about thinking, “I deserve better,” gratitude is about thinking, “I have more than I need.” Mentally strong people recognize all that they have to be grateful for in life – right down to the fresh air to breathe and clean water to drink.
It’s hard to feel sorry for yourself when you’re helping those who are less fortunate. Rather than ruminate on our own inconveniences, let us strive to improve the lives of others.
Venting to other people about the magnitude of our problems fuels feelings of self-pity. We may think we are being listened to but this is only a myth. Most people either ignore the complaint or begin to avoid you after a while.
Focus on a positive outlook is the only thing that can make our own life better.
Some of life’s problems can’t be prevented or solved. The loss of loved ones, natural disasters, and certain health conditions are problems that most people will face at one time or another. Mentally strong people keep an optimistic outlook about their ability to handle whatever life throws their way.
Make friends with yourself
Learn to make friends with the person you are with all the time. This is you. We often take the trouble to be nice to others but not to our own selves. This is one thing we should never do.
Give yourself a pep talk
Everyday learn to give yourself a pep talk saying the day would be wonderful and most often, it would turn to be so.
Convince yourself that you can overcome anything
Even if you are not perfect, you have overcome many more things than others have. You need to keep telling yourself you shall indeed be able to overcome everything.
Essentially, all of the above is about developing mental strength that is similar to building physical strength. If we wanted to become physically strong we would need good habits – like lifting weights. However, we would also need to get rid of bad habits, like eating too many sweets. Similarly, developing mental strength requires good habits – and it also requires you to give up destructive habits, like self-pity, jealousy and its cousin envy.
Everyone has the ability to build mental strength. By developing an increased ability to regulate our thoughts, manage our emotions and behave productively despite whatever cards life gives us, we all can grow stronger and become better.
Last but not the least, pray. Whether we believe in a higher power or not, prayer is very helpful to us. We could call it prayer or anything else that resonates with us. In my case, One of the best prayers that I resonate with is The Serenity Prayer written by the American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr (1892–1971). It says,
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
In a nutshell, it teaches us how to lead a complete life by understanding ourselves and the life around us.