Relationships, bonding and recovery

recoveryWhen a person is affected by any ailment, in my case, multiple sclerosis, or MS, it is not he/she who suffers alone. Like many others who suffer from chronic conditions and diseases it becomes a struggle for the entire family. What compounds it for the patient and family is that no cure has been found yet and there are no set lists of dos and don’ts.

There are many family members of those suffering from MS who have been impacted by this ailment and handled it in their own ways. We need to understand we will only make ourselves stronger and wiser by handling it wisely.

Former US first Lady Michelle Obama’s father was a pump operator who was diagnosed with MS when she was young. Despite his struggle, she is proud of the fact that he strived to be a loving and supportive father and helped educate her and her brother; never compromising on giving them a better future. In that sense, he has surely been a role model both for Michelle and for me.

Famous author J.K. Rowling’s mother, Anne Rowling, suffered from MS and died in 1990 at the age of forty-five, before Rowling had achieved staggering literary fame as the author of the Harry Potter series. I truly admire the fact that Rowling has donated a lot of funds to MS research, hoping that a cure is found soon.

In my case, I have seen how this ailment has strengthened my family. In 2013, my daughter was with me during a long walk. At the end, a lady asked me if something was wrong, for my legs were aching and it showed. I got really irritated but just kept quiet. As we were walking home, my daughter, Samyukta, counselled me.

‘Remember when people would ask me about why I had not bought new shoes or dresses for an event, you used to tell me the only person we need to please is our own self. The same is true for you, Amma. You are trying your best to walk a bit more than you can. Even when Appa (my husband) tends to strain himself, it shows. However, he says he knows he has to stretch himself to the maximum extent always. He does not take the comments of others seriously at all. You too should not take these comments seriously. All you need to do is to please yourself,’ said Samyukta.

Wow! This was serious food for thought for me. My daughter had become wise way beyond her age.

Now, the journey continues. Having healed myself, sometimes there are many calls and discussions on health, healing and recovery in my expanded circle of friends. Here, I do feel a tinge of irritation when people do not take the steps I think they should take. Here I need to learn that I cannot and should not judge anyone as each of us is unique.

While it is good to share information, I still need to realise that everyone heals when they are convinced of recovering/ healing as the human mind is supremely powerful and is the real driver of our lives.

dancingwithlifeThose who wish to buy my book on healing from multiple sclerosis can do so at



Users outside India can buy the book at

The eBook versions are available at

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Connect with understanding

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive,” says the Dalai Lama

connectwitheveryoneThis is indeed true for humanity and all human beings in general. The fact is all positive emotions are interlinked and hence when we connect, love increases and therefore our world seems a much better to live in. This is a fundamental truth of life itself.

We do need to know here what to take seriously and what not to. Most of the problems in life itself is because we do not work on understand all kinds of people in the world. The world does indeed consist of different types of people but it is entirely in our control to see how we handle each kind. This is indeed one of the primary tests of life. One of the stories that I still remember in this context is that of a heap of skulls.

A Sufi mystic was passing through a cemetery and he came upon a heap of skulls. Out of curiosity he took one skull. He had always been of the thought that all skulls are almost the same, but they were not the same. There were a few skulls whose ears were joined together; there was a passage. There were a few skulls whose ears were not joined together; there was a barrier between the two. There were a few skulls both of whose ears were joined to the heart but not joined together; there was a passage running to the heart. He was very surprised. He prayed and asked God, “What is the matter? What are you trying to reveal to me?” And it is said that he heard a voice. God said, “There are three types of people: one, who hear through one ear; it never reaches anywhere — in fact they don’t hear, just the sound vibrates and disappears. There is another type, who hear, but only momentarily — they hear through one ear, and through the other ear it is lost into the world again. There are a few souls, of course, who hear through the ears and it reaches to the heart.”

And God said, “I have brought you to this heap of skulls just to help you remember it when you are talking to people. Talk only to those who take whatsoever you say to their hearts — otherwise don’t waste your energy, and don’t waste your time. Your life is precious: you have a message to deliver.”

This tale shows us that though there are different kinds, we need to know how to handle each one of them. Essentially, it is our attitude we need to try to improve. After all, we all have messages to deliver and this is exactly what we need to focus on.

Moments of Gratitude

bookcoverWhen I started writing the book about my recovery from multiple sclerosis, I wondered if it was worth writing a book making an ailment as the focus, especially as I am not a medical professional.

Later, when I started doing more research on it, I realised that there still are many aspects that everyone. especially patients are confused about. The more the confusion, the more is the fear and further illness. This seemed to be the pattern. At that point, I felt this book was certainly worth writing to break the pattern.

After having published this and spoken to many people who are combatting this ailment or similar ones, the greatest payment I have received is not the royalty, not the book sales, not the compliments but the fact that there have been many who have broken the pattern and become much better. I do not mean to say that this or any other ailment is something that we should make our friend, like some people tend to say flippantly but something that one can overcome by taking the appropriate steps.

What are these steps?  Like in all areas, these are different for different people but the most important step of all is that we should not make the ailment the be all and end all of one’s life. The more focus we give to the ailment, the more control it has over us. This is relevant to a headache, cold, fever and also cancer and yes, multiple sclerosis.

Though not medically trained, I can vouch for the fact that success stories do make a difference to the spirit, the mind and then the body. Yes, this is the correct sequence.  First, the spirit believes we can become better, the mind follows this instruction and then the body accordingly responds. I have personally experienced this and seen the same sequence in many others around me.

Those who wish to buy my book can do so at <


Users outside India can buy the book at

 The eBook versions are NOW available at

Amazon Kindle:

Barnes & Noble:



My return to wellness

Acupuncture has been a miracle for me after having been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. My learnings, which I would like to share with others are..

• Do not ever feel sorry for yourself
• Try not to focus too much on your ailment

• Alternative therapies work, but one may have to explore several options to see what suits us

• Do your regular allopathic check-ups also

• Try to follow a drugless therapy that makes your own body function better

• Accept your situation, but never give up trying to improve

• One’s attitude is the key to one’s wellness, and the key to a complete life. Never compare yourself with others, be it in health, wealth, relationships or career


A revised version of this article was published in Life Positive and also New Woman in 2012


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